Taking the lessons from challenges

When challenging things happen, it can be difficult not to fall into the trap of asking ‘why me’ and experiencing the spirals of anxiety and sadness that feed from it. So, how do we claw our way out of it?

Being able to take the lessons from the challenges that we experience has been found to calm the mind. When we ruminate on them, whether it is replaying them repeatedly looking at blaming others, fixating on what we would have changed or telling the story on repeat to others, our brains are desperately trying to ‘correct’ the situation to ease our pain. Interestingly, what we frequently find instead is that it causes us more distress, not less.

The persistent act of talking about, or thinking about a situation again and again, means we are consistently reactivating the pathways attached to it. However, interestingly, as our brain cannot differentiate between real and imagined, we only remember the situation from OUR perspective, and not in consideration of what else could be occurring. This can mean that we place emphasis and value to a narrative that is not real or true. The more we think about it, the more we generate feelings attached to the thoughts, and soon find ourselves causing ourselves significant emotional harm as we sit, stuck in our loop.

So, how can we work our way out of it?

Thinking from a new angle:

Ask yourself these questions instead:

1. What ACTUALLY happened? – only focus on the facts, no opinions or feelings
2. What does it mean?
3. What else could it mean?
4. What else could it mean? – dive into the other perspectives and options
5. What are 5 ways that this situation is helping me grow or learn?
6. What are 5 things that I will do differently because of this situation? – what did it teach you
7. What are 2 things you are grateful for from this situation?

What’s next?

Thinking about how we role model reading to children, and the opportunities that they have to share written books with the adults and peers in their worlds is central to developing understanding. Whilst they say we all have a book in us, we perhaps need to consider how we help children find the books that set their hearts on fire. Consider how we can provide children opportunities to develop their reading skills and passions.

Want to learn more? 

Would you like to deliver emotional literacy interventions in your work? Our Level 3 Emotional Literacy Mentor qualification takes you through the theory and practice to deliver emotional literacy support for children aged 3-12 years. You can start today by joining (click here)

Are you looking for a deeper understanding of child mental health? Our Level 4 Child and Adolescent Mental Health Coaching Diploma takes you into an in depth dive of child mental health and how you can support.  You can join our Level 4 training (here).

© Nicky Edwards – All Rights Reserved

Further Support 

You can read more about by downloading our FREE Ebooks

You can learn more about child mental health by visiting our courses

You can find therapeutic story books to support your child and audios in our shops.

You can find therapeutic stories and hypnotherapy audios to support children in our shop.