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self-belief Archives - A Step at a Time

Growing resilience in families….

Posted by | anxiety, Children's Therapy, confidence, mental health, sadness, self-belief, self-esteem, Stress, worries | No Comments

Resilience describes our ability to bounce back from stress, adversity, failure and challenges. However, it is often misunderstood that failure is not something we are born with, or something that some people have and others do not. Rather, resilience is something that we develop, grow and foster over time and with support and guidance. So what are the benefits of resilience? Resilience allows us: Better manage stress and worries Te able to overcome obstacles To look for solutions and opportunities To navigate challenging situations Cope with rejection Process and move past failure See the lessons and opportunities in life’s lessons Without resilience children can experience: Higher stress levels or chronic stress Feeling overwhelmed Dwelling on problems Increased anxiety A feeling of rejection or feeling like a victim Feelings of disappointment A sense of failure if things do not go to plan Setbacks feel permanent Risks of depression, insomnia Risks of…

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My child’s symptoms – which resources can I use?

Posted by | Adventures of Brian, anger, anxiety, books, Children's Therapy, confidence, low mood, sadness, self-belief, self-esteem, Stress, well-being, worries | No Comments

Navigating resources, home support and therapy can be a bit of a minefield. Which is why I put together these flow charts to give you a helping hand and direct you to the resources that you can access to help them! Please note – these flow charts do not provide or replace medical advice, if you have a concern about your child seeking support from your GP or health visitor should always be your first priority. Find the resources: ANGER & EXPLOSIVE FEELINGS  Brian and the Shaky Paws- https://bit.ly/ShakyPaws5 FREE Relaxation Audio – https://astepatatime.simplero.com/products/57433-Childrens-FREE-Relaxation-Audio SADNESS & UPSET  Brian and the Troubling Thoughts – http://bit.ly/Troubling5  AUDIO – Releasing fears and worries – https://astepatatime.simplero.com/products/63359-CHILD-AUDIO-NEW-Fears-and-Worries WORRIES & ANXIETY  Brian and the Scary Moment – http://bit.ly/ScaryMoment  Brian and the Funny Feeling – http://bit.ly/Funny-Feeling  AUDIO – CHILD ANXIETY – https://astepatatime.simplero.com/products/114143-CHILD-AUDIO-NEW-Child-Anxiety-Audio    Find the resources – CONFIDENCE & SELFESTEEM Brian and the Proud Feeling – http://bit.ly/ProudFeeling …

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How do we grow children’s self-esteem?

Posted by | anxiety, Children's Therapy, confidence, self-belief, self-esteem, self-image, Stress, Teenagers | No Comments

Self-esteem is a word that we throw around frequently, but do we really recognise the impact of self-esteem in our child’s life? Do we see the impact of self-esteem on their lives? Or perhaps you’ve started to look at your child in comparison to their peers and begun to worry about how they are feeling about themselves? So, let’s start at the beginning….   What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is the value we place on our own worth. It is the opinion we have of ourselves. The way we view our worth in the world. It can be positive or negative, and the level of our self-esteem impacts the way that we see the world and the events that occur in our lives.   What does positive (or high) self-esteem look like? Positive self-esteem can look like: Being able to recognise our strengths Being able to recognise our achievements Feeling positive…

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Why we need to ensure our teens are not ‘too’ busy

Posted by | anxiety, body-image, boredom, confidence, depression, low mood, mental health, self-belief, Stress, Teenagers | No Comments

How busy is too busy?  How quiet is too quiet?  Something that I have noticed in my time as a child and teen therapist, is the far reaching extremes that can occur in children and teen’s diaries and the trends that then occur in mental health. The issues that often arise are either:  teens whose diaries are too quiet and have no focus, leading to isolation, to teens whose diaries are so busy they leave little/no time for downtime and lead to overwhelm Careful monitoring therefore becomes paramount to helping strike a careful balance. As the world operates 24/7, our diaries become filled with back to back events, commitments and social situations. However, for a child this can quickly make their world feel overwhelming and out of control. Their inbuilt desire to meet expectations can often mean that they will push through these emotions and the first indicator we see…

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Why treating mental health is like peeling an onion

Posted by | anger, anxiety, bereavement, boredom, Children's Therapy, confidence, depression, mental health, parent separation, self-belief, self-esteem, self-image, sensitive children, separation anxiety, Stress, Teenagers, trauma | No Comments

Mental health, and the treatment of it, causes so many families chaos, confusion and frustration. Accessing support can be difficult and in some cases impossible, and when support is accessed the expectations can differ from the outcomes. When working with clients, I frequently talk about mental health being an onion. Onions have layers and layers that you can peel back.  Some mental health issues are isolated, and therefore can be stripped in one go, therefore only requiring 1-2 sessions. Other mental health issues have developed over months, years, have multiple affects and triggers and therefore require us to strip off more layers to return to positive well-being – therefore requiring multiple sessions over a period of weeks or years. In some cases, clients will have attempted a number of therapies for only 1-2 sessions and when not finding an immediate cure give up and move to the next therapy. Others,…

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Posted by | Adventures of Brian, anger, anxiety, bereavement, boredom, child therapy, confidence, depression, disordered eating, grief, mental health, self-belief, self-esteem, self-image, sensitive children, separation anxiety, Stress, Teenagers, trauma | No Comments

As lockdown eases in some places, and starts round two in others, the world feels like a strange place to navigate. For the many parents that I am speaking to on a daily basis, the concern for child and adolescent mental health grows. The uncertainty of the world, the disruptions to education and the distortions to social lives, for many, has created a wealth of mental health issues, ranging from low level to crisis. But, as a parent, what do you need to be looking for? And at which point should you be stepping in and looking for help?   Signs and symptoms: Seeing signs of mental ill-health as warning flags is a great way to keep things in check. I frequently work with children who, in the face of adversity, coped like a trooper. However, in the months/years after, then began to struggle. Because life had resumed to a…

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An open letter to parents of children with eating disorders

Posted by | anxiety, body-image, disordered eating, Eating Disorders, emotional eating, mental health, self-belief, self-esteem, Teenagers, trauma | No Comments

*This blog is not medical guidance. If you have concerns about your child’s eating behaviours please consult your GP for referral and support.   Dear parent, I know that you haven’t got a clue what to do right now, whatever you say is wrong; too caring and you are ‘suffocating’, too strict and you ‘don’t care’ and say nothing and you’re accused of ‘ignoring my needs’. Here’s the thing about my eating disorder, it’s not me, it’s part of me but it distorts my thinking and actions at the core of my being. I don’t mean to snap at you, yell, scream, tell you that I don’t want to be here anymore, but it’s suffocating the energy out of my soul and preventing me from using logic and rationale right now. Some days I have control of it, some days it has control of me. On those days I feel…

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Strategies to support children: Homemade Sensory Boxes

Posted by | anger, anxiety, boredom, Children's Therapy, confidence, grief, low mood, self-belief, self-esteem, sensitive children, Stress, well-being | No Comments

Helping children to manage their emotions and learn to regulate them can be a daunting task. Children’s rapid brain development means that whilst they develop logic and reasoning from the age of 5, they can often be impulsive, as the frontal cortex of the brain, which controls logic develops much later. In fact, the frontal cortex development continues into adulthood, so recognising that children need our help to develop reasoning and control is the first step to connecting and helping them. The later development of the frontal cortex means that children; are more likely to act on impulse are less likely to think before they act are more likely to take risks or act out risky behaviours have difficulty considering the consequence of their actions may behave in inappropriate ways Therefore, as adults, supporting children to develop the knowledge and understanding of these areas is important in their social and…

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How to recognise signs of poor mental health in children and 5 ways to support children at home.

Posted by | anxiety, Children's Therapy, confidence, depression, emotional eating, grief, low mood, parent separation, self-belief, self-esteem, separation anxiety, Stress, Teenagers, well-being | No Comments

The thing about mental health, is that we all have it. If we imagine it as a swinging pendulum, throughout out life times, our mental health moves between good mental well-being and poor mental well-being, depending on life circumstances, events and situations. Everyone can have days when their mental health feels more sensitive, but for some, realising that their mental health is suffering and needs support can be a shock. For children and teenagers, brain development is ever changing and moving, children’s pre-frontal cortex – the part of the brain that supports rational thought, seeing perspectives, solving problems and regulation continues its development throughout childhood and adolescence. So, we cannot expect our children to know how to manage their own feelings without guidance and support. In addition, as their primary responses come from their limbic brain system we can often see strong emotions, reactive and instinctive responses to issues –…

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10 Resources to support children with anxiety

Posted by | anxiety, books, child therapy, Children's Therapy, confidence, life coaching, self-belief, self-esteem, separation anxiety | No Comments

If your child is prone to anxiety, offering them support and knowing what to say, can feel really difficult. Offering children an environment where they feel able to talk without judgement, feel accepted and have their emotions respected becomes fundamental to helping them to grow their confidence and resilience. At its core, for children to feel more in control we need to help them build their resilience skills. Resilience is all about our ability to manage situations and bounce back from difficulties. In order to foster resilience we need: To develop children’s awareness of what their emotions mean To support children to develop the vocabulary for their emotions To help children to recognise their triggers and know what the feelings are that occur when faced with them To support children to learn positive coping mechanisms to manage their feelings In this blog, i’ll be sharing ten resources that you can…

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Motivating children, teenagers (and adults) to get things done

Posted by | boredom, Children's Therapy, confidence, excuses, self-belief, Stress, Teenagers | No Comments

Motivation is the word on everyone’s lips right now, at its fundamental core, as the world becomes a peculiar place and boredom and monotony sets in, removing us from the from the initial novelty factor how do we help our children and teenagers (as well as ourselves) to get motivated, and most importantly, is that even what we need? What is motivation? Motivation is defined as: “a reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way”. Motivation can be intrinsic – coming from us, where we have a personal motivation to achieve something or extrinsic – where we do something because we are told to, or there is a reward for it e.g. money, success It indicates that we have a desire, or purpose which drives us to get things done. But, how does that fare in a pandemic? When we have countless days ahead of us? No…

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Supporting introvert and sensitive children

Posted by | anxiety, boredom, child therapy, Children's Therapy, confidence, introverts, self-belief, self-esteem, self-image, sensitive children, Teenagers, well-being | No Comments

Having a child who is not the first in queue to do new things, meet new people or sit and chat, can feel that there is something wrong. However, for some children, being introverted or sensitive can mean that rather than think that there is something wrong with them, we need to identify how we can adapt our routines and behaviours to help them thrive. Introverts, are by nature, quieter, more reserved and happier to spend alone, whilst extroverts enjoy socialising, being active and larger groups. Whilst this is only the tip of the iceberg, we can often see in children we know, those who are happier in their own, peaceful worlds, and those who quickly become bored in their own company. The concern is often, whether the introverted behaviours are introverted or something to be concerned about. Signs of introverted child Deep thinkers and processors Self-sufficient Insular, reserved and…

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Teens, mental health timelines and cabin fever (How to cope)

Posted by | anxiety, boredom, child therapy, confidence, depression, low mood, self-belief, Stress, Teenagers, trauma | No Comments

Over the last week, I have spoken to more teens and parents who are experiencing the impact of the emotions rollercoaster created by cabin fever. This can include feelings of: Increased anxiety Decreased mood Heightened frustration Increased feelings of being trapped Increased feelings of anger, annoyance and irritability The realities of cabin fever, are that many of us are feeling exhausted, trapped and annoyed right now, and the quicker we put in place constructive systems to help us manage the feelings and build our resilience that better the outcomes for our mental health. Some early signs that we need to be aware of, that may indicate your teen (or you) is beginning to struggle are: Sleeping more – or using sleep to avoid things Motivation has dropped Avoidance of activities, interactions or learning Increased screen time Use of electronics to avoid, distract or escape Increased or decreased eating habits Less…

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5 things to do to keep your mental health more stable whilst staying home

Posted by | Adventures of Brian, books, boredom, child therapy, confidence, depression, low mood, self-belief, self-esteem | No Comments

As the world faces a new challenge, and we are in a position of needing to stay home to protect others, ensuring that we take steps to protect the mental health of our family, and ourselves, becomes vital. Having spoken to many people over recent days, here are 5 things that you can action right now to support you and your family. Plan a routine – Whilst we have energy and focus, making a plan for the next 6-8 weeks can help give you structure and focus. For those with home learning to do with children, this will give structure to some of the day, for those working from home, this will cover some of the weekdays, but for all of us we need to consider the time around this. Consider activities you have been procrastinating about at home, jobs you want to complete, home learning you could do as…

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Would you believe me if I said you were beautiful?

Posted by | anxiety, body-image, hypnotherapy, hypnotherapy gastric band, Responsive Therapy, self-belief, self-esteem, self-image, Stress | No Comments

Why don’t we listen to compliments? I remember years ago dating a guy who one evening when I met him for dinner said ‘my god you’re beautiful’ and I laughed and asked him if he was blind. When we split up (he’s still a good mate) he said to me that one of the most irritating things about dating me was that I would NEVER accept a compliment and that actually it was really hurtful when he really meant it. In retrospect he was right, I would dismiss his positive comments and just criticise myself instead, sad as I could have enjoyed the moment So why do we feel compelled to batter down anyone who compliments us? Why must we belittle ourselves to such a degree that we do not think we deserve to be told that we deserve some positive feedback? Those compliments are actually signs of changes, of…

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