BWRT Archives - A Step at a Time

Why change can be so scary………

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy | No Comments

Change can be a concept that for many people is terrifying… whilst others appear to take it in their stride. So, why is it so hard for some people to navigate? Change, in it’s simplest form is when things become different from how they are right now. In most cases, change is a positive thing, occasionally, change can be forced and harder to navigate. Some people will leap right in, with a faith that ‘everything will be ok’, whilst others can be crippled by the fear of ‘what might happen’ and the worry that it will have a negative outcome. So why? There are two parts to this. Firstly, the way that our brain processes change. The second, our level of resilience. Resilience and Patterns  Take two people. Lucy has always been active. She regularly attends clubs, classes and meets new people. She has changed her job every few years…

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Want to understand? Move around the table…..

Posted by | BWRT, hypnotherapy, relationships, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

I have been talking to a number of lovely clients over the last few weeks who were struggling to understand why people were not reacting to them how they wanted them to. To look at the situations we have been using a simple exercise to allow them to ‘step out of their own thoughts/headspace’. The reason we have been doing this is because when we are struggling with a relationship issue with a friend/partner/family member we can get caught up in ‘our side of the story’ which inevitably leads to a number of assumptions being made, cross words or putting words in their mouths. Inevitably it will end in upset for one or both parties and in some situations complete breakdown of said connection. So how do we do it? Here’s a step by step breakdown of how to use a simple ‘moving around the table’ exercise…. Think of the…

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Why can’t I change?

Posted by | BWRT, life coaching | No Comments

So often I meet people in every day life who talk to me about the fact that they ‘can’t change’ or that they ‘are just this way’ – even though their feelings, actions, behaviours or lifestyle are causing them upset they cannot find a way to change and feel that ‘nothing works’. Change is an interesting concept. It is something that so many people want. They may; Desire to change their lifestyle to feel happier or have a better quality of life Want to change their appearance whether it’s weight loss, fitness or health Want to change their behaviours or reactions to triggering situations Wish to change their feelings about a past event so they can move out of the past However, whilst they will talk about it they find that the action to move out of it is not forth coming. So what is the difference between those who…

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What’s your why?

Posted by | BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, Uncategorised | No Comments

I was talking to a friend this week about motivation. Years ago when I would compete in fitness competitions my WHY was huge – there was a big end goal and a date to work to, so the motivation stayed high and it tested your endurance and mental commitment to the extremes. The likelihood of failure was very low as you would not want to look or feel ridiculous so even on days when you wanted to quit you would drag yourself to your training days or eat that broccoli stem over the Chinese takeaway. In every day life motivation for goals can be harder. If the WHY is not big enough then staying motivated can feel tough, and the excuses slip in all too easy. Whilst our intentions and vision might be clear the action that is required can waiver. Why? Because the why just is not BIG enough….

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10 top revision tips to reduce exam stress!

Posted by | BWRT, child therapy, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

Having spent 15 years working in education teaching 16+ I’ve seen my fair share of exam and assessment stress. However whilst some stress is motivational (it shows us that our exams matter to us) we can reduce the unnecessary stress by taking control early on and being prepared. For parents, the exam season can be just as difficult. You want the best for your children and the best opportunities. However keeping home life peaceful and planning opportunities for time out, as well as offering a quiet space where they can revise without distraction can make the whole home more peaceful. So I’ve collated my top ten tips for revision to make home and study a little more peaceful and under control: #1 – Get your notes in order  Spend some time getting your school/college/university notes in order. Having everything together means that you can get organised and have everything at…

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My scars are on the inside…..

Posted by | anxiety, bereavement, BWRT, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

Over the many years I have worked with children and teenagers, and over the last 5 years working in my therapy office I meet so many clients with different backgrounds. Some have scars on the outside, from domestic violence, self-harm, eating disorders or alcoholism. Others have scars on the inside from emotional abuse, neglect, domestic violence, narcissism, bullying, grief and loss….. When we have scars on the outside it is easier for many people to comprehend the sadness and the pain. The medical intervention required means that there is a feasible reason to allow us to make sense of their suffering. When someone has scars on the inside we can easily forget the level of anguish, pain, self-doubt and suffering they have incurred as it is invisible to the naked eye; but its levels of impact are on an incomprehensible scale. Wounds heal, but internal scars remain for a long…

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Top Tips for Supporting Separation Anxiety

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy | No Comments

After my fridge/freezer died on me this week I was tasked with having to purchase a new one, along with a full food shop to replace all that was lost. So on Saturday I was walking around Tesco and a dad walked past with his toddler in the trolley who was bawling his eyes out with a quivering lip as he wailed ‘mummy, want mummy’ it was enough to break any heart, but pulled me back to writing this blog about separation anxiety, which is well overdue. Separation Anxiety is generally a common issue in children from 6months to 3 years, and many children grow out of it. However for some children it becomes a greater issue and they need wonder support systems to manage their emotions around leaving familiar people or places. Separation anxiety occurs at the stage when children recognise that they are dependent on you, it can…

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Why mental health is like building a house….

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Why is mental health like building a house… let me explain… Growing up I would colour in my dad’s architecture drawings for the latest house he was building, it filled me with dreams of being an architect and designing the houses that my dad would build. Coming from a household where my dad could literally build anything you drew, from rabbit hutches and runs to later the office where I now work, I quickly became attuned to the time, effort and energy that sits behind those pictures which later become homes. In Year 6 my science project was about cavity walls, as my dad taught me about the reality that the walls of a house are not just one layer, that the insulation is an important factor and that those measurements are imperative to the house fulfilling it’s function I spent hours drawing the illustrations to support this new knowledge…

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3 things you can learn from my Eating Disorder….

Posted by | anxiety, body-image, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, Uncategorised | No Comments

Eating Disorders often become one of those judgemental taboo subjects – we see television, magazines and social media body shaming, we hear flippant remarks of ‘my god is she anorexic!’ passed around as easily as the names of celebrities… but what we actually know about them is very little. Much like many taboo subjects eating disorders make many people feel uncomfortable, and as such they avoid any discussion about them. Behind closed doors they may discuss a friend, family member or work colleague who they have noticed has ‘different’ eating habits but the likelihood of someone actually sitting down and having that uncomfortable conversation with someone is unlikely. I should know – I had one. I was late to the game, at 26, to develop an eating disorder isn’t as expected as if I had been a teenager, and being older (and in full time employment) I had more control…

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5 Things to do when you’re exhausted…..

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, Uncategorised | No Comments

In a world that seems to never stop what do we do when it all catches up with us? The reality is that we can’t just push the pause button and so when barriers, obstacles or difficulties crop up we still need to go to work, look after our families and do the housework and whilst what we really want is to curl up in a ball it can sometimes be….impossible. But what impact does it have on our health? When we have conflicts that occur in our home lives they can take multiple forms: Bereavements Family conflicts Stress at work Breakups of relaionships Illness Financial worries ….the list goes on Some of these can be easily resolved, others may pass in a short amount of time, and some slowly chip away at us over a period of time. With this comes the slow burn on our brain, as stress…

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Brains, filing cabinets – and why noone is coming to do your filing!

Posted by | anxiety, bereavement, BWRT, child therapy, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

Is your brain talking to you? Just take a moment and scan this communication list…. My head hurts all the time… I have a permanent headache…. I just can’t turn my brain off… I can’t sleep… I am permanently exhausted… I had to take a day off as my neck and shoulders hurt so much… I can’t concentrate… I keep forgetting things… The smallest thing makes me angry… I can’t deal with being around people… I’ve suddenly developed anxiety about things I used to find easy… I feel so fragile all the time.. My family are getting really fed up with me being so helpless… (If you didn’t tick off anything on this list then I can only say well done, you either have fantastic coping strategies in place, a support system which is second to none, are in therapy regularly or have had a peaceful year or a combination…

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Child Therapy – From a child’s perspective… (testimonial)

Posted by | Adventures of Brian, anxiety, books, BWRT, child therapy, Uncategorised | No Comments

I really love my therapy and coaching work with young people, their imaginations and willingness to open up and explore the child therapy techniques I offer means that they often experience big breakthroughs in 1-6 sessions (depending on the reason for attending). So you can imagine how touched I was when I received this beautiful story from one of my 12 year old clients which she submitted to a local radio station story writing contest, it looks at the session we completed to help her find some inner peace and joy…. she even had the chance to meet Brian my therapy dog! I’ll let her say the rest…    “Once there was a girl named Poppy and she was a big worrier for many reasons that cannot be explained. One day something life changing happened; she was going to see her one and only hero, worry expert Nicki Edwards and her…

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Perfectionism, Stress, School and our Teenagers

Posted by | Adventures of Brian, anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, Teenagers, Uncategorised | No Comments

Having worked with the 16+ age group for 14 years this year (still feels like yesterday that I started) it’s been an interesting concept to watch the changes in mindset, challenges and mental health. One of the key things that is becoming more and more noticeable is that a higher number of teenagers and young people are striving to obtain a level of perfectionism that is causing higher levels of: Stress Anxiety Worry And in more extreme cases: Disordered eating Self-harming behaviours If you read my previous blog ‘Is the world causing our children anxiety‘ you’ll already know that I discussed the influence of social media and technology on our children’s limbic brain development (the part of the brain responsible for emotional behaviours) if not it is worth a perusal to look at the statistics released in the Child Mental Health Report 2017 where we see the links between social…

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Why self-care is NOT selfish

Posted by | anxiety, bereavement, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

Every day I hear mums and my professional clients utter the same words ‘I can’t be that selfish’…. In fact it’s probably the main thing that they have in common, a belief system that looking after their own emotional health and well-being is ‘selfish’. Having worked in the teaching industry for many years i’m quite accustomed to skipping meals, working ludicrous hours, cancelling personal engagements to opt for lesson planning and marking and collapsing in a heap at the end of term wondering what way the steam train that hit me had gone in… So why is the main thing that I am accustomed to hearing ‘I can’t be that selfish’. Perhaps it’s an archaic belief system, maybe a new one from the unrealistic expectations that we have placed on life, but is it time to acknowledge that selfceare is NOT selfish? How is looking after your emotional health selfish?…

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Is the world causing our children anxiety?

Posted by | Adventures of Brian, anxiety, BWRT, Children's Therapy, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

As the years go by my office is filled with more and more children and teenagers who are struggling with unwanted thoughts and feelings. Since I wrote the Adventures of Brian book collection this has only grown more considerably. Leading me to question – is the world causing our children anxiety? 19 years ago when I first entered the world of early years (working in a nursery) we would occasionally meet a child with separation anxiety or thumb sucking but these were few and far between. 15 years ago when I first went to work as a lecturer with 16-19 year olds you may have one teenager in your class with depression or anxiety but again it was much more a rarity than the world presented today. In the early days of my career, or even in my own school days you just didn’t find a huge number of children…

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