Responsive Therapy Archives - A Step at a Time

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Being Unapologetically You….

Posted by | BWRT, Responsive Therapy, Uncategorised | No Comments

I was driving down to Worthing last week to the recording studio (we’re busy creating the next batch of the Adventures of Brian Audio Books) and as I sat at the railway crossing I watched a family walk past. Mum and dad were chatting, their son wandering close by, and just behind was their daughter… dancing and jumping along the pavement. It was their daughter who caught my attention, as she leapfrogged the bollards along the pavement, hopscotched across the squares of the pavement slabs and danced down the street with her family her ability to be so unapologetically herself was touching. You may have noticed how children have the ability to lose themselves in their play, not yet affected by the world’s opinions, oblivious to the concept of conformity there is nothing more beautiful than a child who is unapologetically themselves. I work with so many adults who are…

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Blog Post

5 things a narcissist does to stop you leaving….

Posted by | anxiety, body-image, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

With the growth of social media quite often you will see the word ‘narcissist’ used within articles, stories, social media posts and films. Often followed with comments of ‘why didn’t they just leave?’ or ‘Didn’t they see what was happening?’…So here’s 5 things a narcissist does to stop you leaving… If you read my previous blog ‘Why you shouldn’t have known‘ you will be familiar with why we rarely see the effects of a narcissist until it is late in the day…. To start here’s a definition of a narcissist: Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the process affecting the lives of innocent women and men every day is a pattern of abnormal behaviour which the narcissist not only has this excessive interest in themselves but combines it with a pattern of non-empathy in which they have no understanding of other people’s feelings and in their pursuit of power, success or self-satisfaction will…

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mummy bear blog

Why life is like a game of chess…. and how not to get checkmated!

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

Have you ever noticed that life is like a game of chess? I was standing brushing my teeth this morning when I was struck by this profound thought (it’s my favourite profound moment place) that life is like a chess game and we can so easily get stuck in chess mate if we don’t watch what is happening…. I should be honest at this point and say that Chess is not a game that I have ever mastered – in fact I am still in awe of those who can play. Many moons ago the 8 year old I used to babysit tried to teach me but gave up when I just ‘didn’t get it’

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4 ways to stop the straw breaking the camels back (and save your social life)

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, Uncategorised | No Comments

You know that old saying ‘the straw that broke the camel’s back?’ well I want to tell you that in the majority of cases it isn’t the thing you have the greatest issue with. The problem with problems is that we collect them. Once we have a highly negative experience we can find ourselves overwhelmed with issues. The problem is we tend to focus on the most recent of these issues and not the cause of the pressure on our brain. We also inevitably do not notice the problem until it is so great the consequence is greater…. or do we? In this week’s blog I want to share 4 signs and actions you can use to ensure that the straw does not break the camel’s back and inevitably prevent it from breaking you…. Let me start with an example (fictitious scenario)…..Emily is getting married, she has waited for a…

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mummy bear blog

Why our mummy bears need to be encouraged to engage in TLC

Posted by | Adventures of Brian, anxiety, bereavement, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

Why our mummy bears need to be encouraged to engage in TLC…. Please note – whilst daddy bear is not mentioned in this blog it is not for a lack of respect of his role – we are just focussing on mummies today! I know you’re probably wondering if I have lost the plot after a little too much sunshine this weekend, however it was a conversation I had whilst standing at a book fair that prompted this blog. Mummy Bear Syndrome may not be a known term, in fact it was a new concept that I learnt 5 years ago whilst sat training with Richard Wain in the concepts of Responsive Hypnotherapy but it explains nearly everything you need to know about mummies. On becoming a mummy a woman quickly sidelines her needs and jumps into the defence of her baby. The Mummy Bear leads her pack of teddy…

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2 reasons why your friend is making you feel uncomfortable and how to deal with it!

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, Uncategorised | No Comments

Ever had those days when your friend/partner is making you feel uncomfortable? But not because you hate them…just something is – well off? And I don’t mean in the stagnant water way! The thing is, at times we will find that friends or partners (or even family members) really get under our skin. Our first retaliation is to blame them for it… But what if it’s YOU? Eek…. yep I said it… it’s highly likely it’s you! Before you contemplate killing me for that statement let me explain where I am going with this… Sometimes our friends just drive us insane…. we can love them from the bottom of our hearts, and adore them completely, we would walk over hot coals for them – but still the very second they text/call/email/Facebook/turn up you feel uncomfortable, irritable or just like there is a glitch in the system. Here’s two reasons why…….

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Is your past haunting you? The real reason you are going round in circles!

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

Do you ever feel like your past is haunting you? Like you keep coming back to the same problem? Or you have really, really bad luck? Perhaps you feel like the universe is punishing you? Or that you can’t get anything right? Or MAYBE your mind is stuck in a detrimental thought loop that you simply cannot break? Ooh now that’s a thought isn’t it? If you have ever heard that old adage, you can’t change the problem, only your attitude to the problem then you might see where I am going with this. If not then Hi! Welcome to my thought process today! So now we have established a small chance that your past is NOT haunting you, (and rather your thought processes are) I’ll explain where I am going with this…. Our brains and patterns… Every week in my office I meet at least one client who tells…

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Are your friendships damaging your mental health?

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, Uncategorised | No Comments

Are your friendships damaging your mental health? Limiters, enablers or encouragers…… what on earth am I on about? With social media taking over all communication, texts a preference and knowing (or even having) a home phone quickly becoming a thing of the past the one thing that it does allow is for us to watch personality types and friendship types become visual. We can also begin to understand how mental health has decreased as social media increases. In the past we couldn’t so easily see the behaviours of those around us as they disappeared as quickly as the person vacating. With the wonders of a technological age and social media being used so widely it allows us see things we may not have seen before (if we open our eyes to them). I’ll start with a story to explain my point…. Those who follow my blogs from A Step at…

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What you need to know when you are NOT ‘Ok’

Posted by | anxiety, body-image, BWRT, confidence, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, self-esteem | No Comments

One thing that I see every week in my office in Sussex is wonderful, professional, intelligent women who are tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, fed up, dissatisfied or just plain at the end of their tether with being ‘strong’ In reality we have all done it haven’t we, been strong when we have no strength left? Almost as if it’s some badge we should wear with honour, ‘I’m on my knees but hey I’m still being ‘strong’ We watch wonderful women walking through the depths of hell and because they still get up everyday, put their war paint on and go out and fight the world we tell them ‘you’re so strong’  As if being strong is a good thing? As if being strong is what we ‘should’ do… Would you tell your daughter who was crumbling inside to ‘be strong’ – or would you wrap her in your arms, comfort her…

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I’m not a statistic – I’m me…..

Posted by | anxiety, body-image, Children's Therapy, confidence, Eating Disorders, grief, Responsive Therapy, trauma, weight loss | No Comments

One of the greatest things that I find when working in disordered eating, anxiety or even trauma and bereavement is that so many of my clients have been treated as a statistic. Whether they are frustrated at being prescribed medication for symptoms not the cause, placed on long waiting lists for therapeutic talk therapies or provided with food plans which feel overwhelming the one thing that they all have in common is that they feel like a number, a statistic, a non-existent person. I remember years ago visiting the GP, my disordered eating spiralling, obsessed with exercise and collar bones and hip bones that were (in retrospect) very unattractive and a sign of the lack of health and nutrition I was experiencing) to be thrust a depression questionnaire to assess whether I was a risk to myself….. In that moment I felt like there wasn’t much hope left. The doctor…

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3 things you need to know about disordered eating….

Posted by | BWRT, Eating Disorders, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

In my office in West Sussex I often work with clients who are struggling with disordered eating patterns. The difficulty with disordered eating is that in its vastness, and the many different types and symptoms it is an often mis-understood area. This can cause huge frustration for families and friends of the person who is experiencing the eating behaviours and can be a trigger to further issues for the person themselves. Eating disorders research has changed significantly over the years and there are now a range of categories and types of disorders which are acknowledged beyond the previously acknowledged anorexia and bulimia. Having recovered from my own disordered eating battle I have put together 3 things that you need to know about disordered eating to help you better support those that you love: (Please note – this is not for medical advice nor in replacement of appropriate medical support) #1…

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3 reasons why skipping meals is making you fat

Posted by | body-image, BWRT, diets, hypnotherapy, hypnotherapy gastric band, Responsive Therapy, weight loss | No Comments

Every day in my Sussex office I meet with ladies who are at the end of their tether with their weight. Fed up of being overweight, feeling as though they are barely eating or only eating, they can’t stand their ‘lot’ any more and have decided that action is NOW So why is it that so many of them are ‘skipping’ meals but overweight? #1 – It’s causing internal stress  Skipping meals puts your thyroid and adrenal glands under extreme stress. This stress is fine if its a ‘one off’ BUT if skipping meals is a daily occurrence then it will have a long term affect on metabolism.Your adrenals and thyroid both help regulate metabolism and digestive function, so skipping meals increases cortisol in the body – which is an enemy to the adrenals and thyroid. Persistent skipping of meals thus creates metabolic issues and therefore affects weight – even…

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Invisible

The invisible eating disorder – do you have it?

Posted by | anxiety, body-image, BWRT, diets, Eating Disorders, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, weight loss | No Comments

Eating Disorders….. a term which is slowly becoming more recognised but still so widely misunderstood. Did you know that according to a report commissioned by Beat “725,000 people in the UK are affected by an eating disorder”  In the latest version of the DSM (Diagnostic Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders) they cite the main eating disorders as anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder (BED), this eliminates EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified).However before the latest change in criteria, it was estimated that of those with eating disorders, 10% were anorexic, 40% were bulimic and the rest fall into the EDNOS category which included BED. Here’s the thing though….an eating disorder is not linear… In fact, there are a whole host of Eating Disorders swimming among our friends, family members and colleagues that we may not even be aware of, because those experiencing them may look – just like YOU and…

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