BWRT Archives - A Step at a Time

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Being Unapologetically You….

Posted by | BWRT, Responsive Therapy, Uncategorised | No Comments

I was driving down to Worthing last week to the recording studio (we’re busy creating the next batch of the Adventures of Brian Audio Books) and as I sat at the railway crossing I watched a family walk past. Mum and dad were chatting, their son wandering close by, and just behind was their daughter… dancing and jumping along the pavement. It was their daughter who caught my attention, as she leapfrogged the bollards along the pavement, hopscotched across the squares of the pavement slabs and danced down the street with her family her ability to be so unapologetically herself was touching. You may have noticed how children have the ability to lose themselves in their play, not yet affected by the world’s opinions, oblivious to the concept of conformity there is nothing more beautiful than a child who is unapologetically themselves. I work with so many adults who are…

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5 things a narcissist does to stop you leaving….

Posted by | anxiety, body-image, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

With the growth of social media quite often you will see the word ‘narcissist’ used within articles, stories, social media posts and films. Often followed with comments of ‘why didn’t they just leave?’ or ‘Didn’t they see what was happening?’…So here’s 5 things a narcissist does to stop you leaving… If you read my previous blog ‘Why you shouldn’t have known‘ you will be familiar with why we rarely see the effects of a narcissist until it is late in the day…. To start here’s a definition of a narcissist: Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the process affecting the lives of innocent women and men every day is a pattern of abnormal behaviour which the narcissist not only has this excessive interest in themselves but combines it with a pattern of non-empathy in which they have no understanding of other people’s feelings and in their pursuit of power, success or self-satisfaction will…

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mummy bear blog

Why life is like a game of chess…. and how not to get checkmated!

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

Have you ever noticed that life is like a game of chess? I was standing brushing my teeth this morning when I was struck by this profound thought (it’s my favourite profound moment place) that life is like a chess game and we can so easily get stuck in chess mate if we don’t watch what is happening…. I should be honest at this point and say that Chess is not a game that I have ever mastered – in fact I am still in awe of those who can play. Many moons ago the 8 year old I used to babysit tried to teach me but gave up when I just ‘didn’t get it’

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4 ways to stop the straw breaking the camels back (and save your social life)

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, Uncategorised | No Comments

You know that old saying ‘the straw that broke the camel’s back?’ well I want to tell you that in the majority of cases it isn’t the thing you have the greatest issue with. The problem with problems is that we collect them. Once we have a highly negative experience we can find ourselves overwhelmed with issues. The problem is we tend to focus on the most recent of these issues and not the cause of the pressure on our brain. We also inevitably do not notice the problem until it is so great the consequence is greater…. or do we? In this week’s blog I want to share 4 signs and actions you can use to ensure that the straw does not break the camel’s back and inevitably prevent it from breaking you…. Let me start with an example (fictitious scenario)…..Emily is getting married, she has waited for a…

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mummy bear blog

Why our mummy bears need to be encouraged to engage in TLC

Posted by | Adventures of Brian, anxiety, bereavement, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

Why our mummy bears need to be encouraged to engage in TLC…. Please note – whilst daddy bear is not mentioned in this blog it is not for a lack of respect of his role – we are just focussing on mummies today! I know you’re probably wondering if I have lost the plot after a little too much sunshine this weekend, however it was a conversation I had whilst standing at a book fair that prompted this blog. Mummy Bear Syndrome may not be a known term, in fact it was a new concept that I learnt 5 years ago whilst sat training with Richard Wain in the concepts of Responsive Hypnotherapy but it explains nearly everything you need to know about mummies. On becoming a mummy a woman quickly sidelines her needs and jumps into the defence of her baby. The Mummy Bear leads her pack of teddy…

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2 reasons why your friend is making you feel uncomfortable and how to deal with it!

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, Uncategorised | No Comments

Ever had those days when your friend/partner is making you feel uncomfortable? But not because you hate them…just something is – well off? And I don’t mean in the stagnant water way! The thing is, at times we will find that friends or partners (or even family members) really get under our skin. Our first retaliation is to blame them for it… But what if it’s YOU? Eek…. yep I said it… it’s highly likely it’s you! Before you contemplate killing me for that statement let me explain where I am going with this… Sometimes our friends just drive us insane…. we can love them from the bottom of our hearts, and adore them completely, we would walk over hot coals for them – but still the very second they text/call/email/Facebook/turn up you feel uncomfortable, irritable or just like there is a glitch in the system. Here’s two reasons why…….

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Is your past haunting you? The real reason you are going round in circles!

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

Do you ever feel like your past is haunting you? Like you keep coming back to the same problem? Or you have really, really bad luck? Perhaps you feel like the universe is punishing you? Or that you can’t get anything right? Or MAYBE your mind is stuck in a detrimental thought loop that you simply cannot break? Ooh now that’s a thought isn’t it? If you have ever heard that old adage, you can’t change the problem, only your attitude to the problem then you might see where I am going with this. If not then Hi! Welcome to my thought process today! So now we have established a small chance that your past is NOT haunting you, (and rather your thought processes are) I’ll explain where I am going with this…. Our brains and patterns… Every week in my office I meet at least one client who tells…

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2 reasons our children’s worries are greater than ever

Posted by | Adventures of Brian, anxiety, BWRT, Children's Therapy | No Comments

Have you ever noticed that our children are worrying more than ever? Children’s worries are at an all time high. Every week in my office I am visited by children and teenagers who are struggling with worries, anxiety or catastrophizing about events that haven’t even happened. The incidences of appointments for these has risen significantly over the last year. This includes visits for: – Children worrying about safety – Child anxiety – Separation anxiety from parents – Children struggling with OCD or habit based behaviours – Sleep issues – Children who catastrophize about events that ‘might’ happen in the future So where has it come from? Before I start my explanations (from my personal perspective) I want you to cast your mind back to the late 1980s/early 1990s – the days when as children we were found climbing in trees, staying out on your bike, water fights with your super…

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Are your friendships damaging your mental health?

Posted by | anxiety, BWRT, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, Uncategorised | No Comments

Are your friendships damaging your mental health? Limiters, enablers or encouragers…… what on earth am I on about? With social media taking over all communication, texts a preference and knowing (or even having) a home phone quickly becoming a thing of the past the one thing that it does allow is for us to watch personality types and friendship types become visual. We can also begin to understand how mental health has decreased as social media increases. In the past we couldn’t so easily see the behaviours of those around us as they disappeared as quickly as the person vacating. With the wonders of a technological age and social media being used so widely it allows us see things we may not have seen before (if we open our eyes to them). I’ll start with a story to explain my point…. Those who follow my blogs from A Step at…

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3 reasons NOT to wait for your child to grow out of it…

Posted by | Adventures of Brian, anxiety, BWRT, Children's Therapy, confidence | No Comments

Why you shouldn’t wait for your child to access children’s therapy for their worries and behaviours….. “They’ll grow out of it”  “Don’t worry about it – they’ll grow out of it”  “We’ll review it when they are older….”  Ever heard those ill fated words before? When it comes to our child’s emotional or mental health do we really want to WAIT? In some cases they will grow out of it, for example a few children do grow out of their little worries, some children do grow out of their anxiety, and many  children do grow out of their toilet training issues (did you know that the hormones responsible for urine control in some children don’t mature until the age of 12??) HOWEVER Many issues do not disappear and in some cases leaving your child to grow out of it can actually create a greater issue to be treated later.  So…

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What you need to know when you are NOT ‘Ok’

Posted by | anxiety, body-image, BWRT, confidence, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy, self-esteem | No Comments

One thing that I see every week in my office in Sussex is wonderful, professional, intelligent women who are tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, fed up, dissatisfied or just plain at the end of their tether with being ‘strong’ In reality we have all done it haven’t we, been strong when we have no strength left? Almost as if it’s some badge we should wear with honour, ‘I’m on my knees but hey I’m still being ‘strong’ We watch wonderful women walking through the depths of hell and because they still get up everyday, put their war paint on and go out and fight the world we tell them ‘you’re so strong’  As if being strong is a good thing? As if being strong is what we ‘should’ do… Would you tell your daughter who was crumbling inside to ‘be strong’ – or would you wrap her in your arms, comfort her…

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Why we need to focus on every small achievement in our recovery

Posted by | anxiety, body-image, BWRT, confidence, disordered eating, eating disorder, hypnotherapy | No Comments

Whether we are recovering from an eating disorder, a trauma or an addiction focussing on our achievements is imperative to success and long term recovery. Whilst the end goal may be on the mind of all those around the recoveree for the person who is involved in the process that goal may feel too much or too far away to create momentum. So, what can we focus on?

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3 things you need to know about disordered eating….

Posted by | BWRT, Eating Disorders, hypnotherapy, Responsive Therapy | No Comments

In my office in West Sussex I often work with clients who are struggling with disordered eating patterns. The difficulty with disordered eating is that in its vastness, and the many different types and symptoms it is an often mis-understood area. This can cause huge frustration for families and friends of the person who is experiencing the eating behaviours and can be a trigger to further issues for the person themselves. Eating disorders research has changed significantly over the years and there are now a range of categories and types of disorders which are acknowledged beyond the previously acknowledged anorexia and bulimia. Having recovered from my own disordered eating battle I have put together 3 things that you need to know about disordered eating to help you better support those that you love: (Please note – this is not for medical advice nor in replacement of appropriate medical support) #1…

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3 reasons why skipping meals is making you fat

Posted by | body-image, BWRT, diets, hypnotherapy, hypnotherapy gastric band, Responsive Therapy, weight loss | No Comments

Every day in my Sussex office I meet with ladies who are at the end of their tether with their weight. Fed up of being overweight, feeling as though they are barely eating or only eating, they can’t stand their ‘lot’ any more and have decided that action is NOW So why is it that so many of them are ‘skipping’ meals but overweight? #1 – It’s causing internal stress  Skipping meals puts your thyroid and adrenal glands under extreme stress. This stress is fine if its a ‘one off’ BUT if skipping meals is a daily occurrence then it will have a long term affect on metabolism.Your adrenals and thyroid both help regulate metabolism and digestive function, so skipping meals increases cortisol in the body – which is an enemy to the adrenals and thyroid. Persistent skipping of meals thus creates metabolic issues and therefore affects weight – even…

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